in a rush

People are nutsos. But the best nuts are those that weave in traffic, going 20 miles over the speed limit to get around me, who does a modest 2 miles over the limit, only to have me pass them again at the next street light. I get immense pleasure from seeing these guys silhouetted hand waving exercises, and their phlegm specked windows as they glare and try to yell through the glass at me. Oh, I wish more nutsos had bad air conditioning, so I could hear them. My window is always down, but they seem to need the cool air to help keep their fiery passion from boiling them away.

Red pickup driver guy, thanks for the chuckles you gave me when you were upset that I wasn't moving forward on the shoulder to get around a guy that was going to be making the same turn we both were going to make. You are a slow driver, were you afraid you were going to get stuck at the light? Your bouncing, steering wheel slapping, and tossing your hands in the air, was great. Enthusiasm and great grand gusto. Maybe you were just listening to a really good rap song?

Beat up, black jetta dude, you are a fast driver. Wasn't it fun racing along, really cranking the revs to cut around me? I saw your cheery, cherry red tail lights as you careened to a stop a few blocks away from me at the stop light. I had fun too, as I coasted past you as the light turned green, and pulled in front of you again so I could turn right just past the intersection. I noticed you noticing me. You have OK teeth. I could tell by the way you were showing them to me that you are obviously proud of them. Your impersonation of a dice gambler was creative. I could really see you rolling those dice in your clenched fist over your head. I bet you won that throw, but I'm faster where it counts; mainly in pissing you off.

I've enjoyed you all, and I can hardly wait to see more of you rushing folks.

Motor on a sailboat is cheating?

I'm having motor problems, and mentioned this fun fact to friends. One of them thought having a motor on a sail boat to be cheating, I disabused him of this notion with the following argument:

The slip that I'm living in is in a channel about this wide-> | | (roughly the width of a thumbnail held at 4 arm lengths from your eye). Typically the wind is blowing directly east, meaning that I'd have to sail dead into the wind (impossible) or tack like nuts to get up wind without running into the many expensive boats nearby, all the while dodging the Olympic paddling crew that are furiously racing up and down the same channel. Running the motor for about 15 minutes every time I go out makes life easier and less bloody for us all.

Also, what happens if I rip a sail? Or the wind dies? Or my mast snaps in two? Or I feel like spending $200 in parts for a motor I use rarely? Or I see some cute manatees with no propeller scars yet? See, a motor is needed. I almost got a paddle the other day as a backup to my backup... but paddling a 24' 4000 pound sailboat is tiring, and I can't carry enough ice to keep all the beer cold that would be needed if I had to actually paddle the boat.

Hope that clears it up. I am cheating, but I'm manly, and smelly, enough that no one will call me on it!

Docking as a means of self examination

How can a one activity fully wipe out my motivation by making me too anxious to pursue further activities? Close your eyes and picture; you are vessel of pure motivation riding a bitchin' surfboard to the island of happiness when a tsunami of fear tips you over short of landfall and the undertow of self-loathing drags you out to sea. Now picture the same, but with you holding the best hotdog in the world, one-with-everything, and as the wave crashes down, you now have a soggy bunned, sand covered dog with just a bit of onion to gaze on as the undertow drags you down. It can get worse, but I'll not commit the Haagen-Dazs scenario to written word.

Lets examine a case:

Docking. Sailing requires some type of docking maneuver, unless you buy the disposable type of boat I often see abandoned on the shoreline. I like sailing. I don't have anything against docking. Yet, unless I'm actually docking, I'm so paralyzed by the thought of having to dock, that I never allow myself to get to a place where docking is imminent, like out on the water on a boat. The fear of failure prevents my enjoyment, it doesn't just put a damper on it. Hence getting a sailboat, and almost never leaving the slip to go out.

My rational brain says I just need to dock all freaking day long until I get over the anxiety. What's the worst that can happen? I slam the boat into the pier and rather than sinking the boat, I sink the land, dropping all of North America under water, thus raising the sea level high enough to cause other continents to flood; single handedly causing the destruction of mankind before global warming even gets the chance. My real brain says, "Whoa, Nelly! That is fairly unlikely, but just in case... lets grab a book and a beer and enjoy the sun from dry land."

I'm working out some end runs to avoid facing my fears, and still getting around them permanently. For example, inviting other folks on the boat who can worry about docking, while I enjoy the water, and the beer they brought. Does that make me a coward, just a dork, or brilliant? Is it possible to achieve bliss by working around all those situations that anxiety blocks me from? Should I just start biting bullets? Why does he always end with a bunch of questions?

Insomnia

I read about George Bernard Shaw's "Ghoti" pronunciation in a crummy detective novel ( more detail ). So, if "ghoti" sounds like fish, then guess what "eighpptiopt" sounds like. (how about: apeshit). Yes, this kept me up last night. For a couple of hours, I think.

Having a hard time?

- "gh" from tough, "o" from women, "ti" from instruction. Put it together for fish.

- "eigh" from eight, "pp" from apple, "ti" from action, "pt" from receipt. And you've got apeshit!

Can we have more fun? Probably, but seems like the only time my brain is spinning on inane deep thought is when I should be getting some sleep. You can have more fun now, I'll wait until 3am, thanks.

no more taxes

If I can hold out for another 8 1/3 months, I won't have to file taxes next year. I almost avoided filing this year, but worked a few months at the beginning of last year. Note for my future self: try taking a break on the fiscal year change... saves paper work.

Boat pictures

Finally took a few minutes to snap a few photos of the boat. Who can spot the head? Well... not a head really, but the emergency bodily waste receptacle.

Gut work for free

The $50,000 hospital bill due to my failed gall bladder has been drastically slashed! Looks like I'll either be responsible for ~$300 or nothing at all. Being houseless and jobless has just made me $50,000. Not to shabby.

I'm not sure how to feel about this.... I don't like to welsh on my obligations, but at the same time I thought the bill was over inflated. I would have been happy to meet somewhere in the middle on the price, but gosh... free is fantastic.